Paradoxical Intention

Being rejected is difficult and for those who experience rejection sensitivity, can experience it even more painful. Quite literally the experience of being rejected activates the same part of the brain as physical pain.

Victor Frankl came up with a technique called Paradoxical Intention. Just a fancy word for, do the thing we are afraid of doing. Because when we don’t do it, the fear gets bigger and bigger in our mind. But the more we do something, the more competent we get and then the more confident we become. 

For example if we are afraid of rejection, what about if we made it our goal?

There is a Ted Talk called 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang, if you want to get some inspiration on how someone else made rejection their goal in order to overcome this fear. 

The actor Willem Dafoe said that when he felt anxious about doing a scene poorly, he would tell himself, “I’m going to act badly. I’m just going to go out there and do a bad job.” 

And that lifted the weight of his perfectionist expectations so that he could have more room to play and experience life.