When healing from childhood trauma, you discover that authentic connection becomes an act of rebellion and courage—a testament to your strength as you willingly face uncertainty while trusting in your ability to handle whatever comes. Growing up without experiencing supportive validation made any connection feel dangerous because you learned others would manipulate and hurt you.

The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy technique called "Anchoring" helps ground you when life's storms—rumination, self-criticism, excessive worrying—threaten to sweep you away. It allows you to remain present, not dwelling on future worries, past regrets, or the stories your mind fabricates.

This anchoring helps quiet the relentless self-criticism that stems from fear of rejection—that voice insisting you're inadequate, prompting endless mental replays of conversations. All of this stems from your desperate craving for validation to feel safe, because when you were younger, how your abusers perceived you affected how you were treated.

Instead of striving to appear impressive, you learn to embrace not knowing, approaching life with curiosity about the humans before you. This authentic connection far surpasses external validation. You shift from needing others' approval to genuinely connecting with both your inherent worth and the unique qualities in others—reclaiming the agency that was stolen in childhood.

Want actionable steps for change? Consider this: Validation isn't just comfort—it's essential groundwork. True transformation comes not from destroying who you are to create something new, but from building on self-compassion and curiosity. You can be completely lovable now AND become who you want to be.

Trace the fascinating linguistic journey of ADHD terminology from early misconceptions to modern understanding. Explore how medical language evolved from moral judgments to neurodevelopmental recognition, revealing society's growing empathy and insight into neurological diversity.

Explore the transformative journey of ADHD understanding from misunderstood diagnosis to celebrated neurodiversity. Uncover how societal perspectives have evolved, debunk persistent myths, and discover the remarkable shift from viewing ADHD as a disorder to recognizing a unique neurological variation with extraordinary potential.

Navigating ADHD's unique challenges with self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-efficacy. Discover how neurodivergent individuals can overcome internal struggles, transform negative self-perception, and develop personalized strategies for growth. Learn to embrace your neurological differences and build confidence through understanding and compassionate support.

At 13, I created a “Happiness Collective” scrapbook to remind myself of what brings me joy. It taught me the power of self-love and listening to thoughts. Shift negative self-talk with compassion, but listen to what frustrates you—it often signals change. Joy and growth come from mindful self-reflection.

Holding onto pain is like standing in the rain when someone invites you back inside. Refusing forgiveness deepens wounds and creates suffering. True healing requires releasing surface pain, embracing vulnerability, and setting boundaries that respect your values. Forgiveness isn’t about condoning harm but choosing peace over resentment to foster authentic connections and inner healing.

I’m not your typical "blank slate" therapist. I actively share my thoughts and knowledge, providing resources via email to see what resonates with you. I believe clients are the experts on their healing journeys, while I bring expertise from the therapeutic field. Together, we build a supportive, trusting relationship and explore the complexity of being human.

What if our interactions were less transactional, focused on connection rather than validation? Imagine approaching others with the intent to create bonds rooted in care, not seeking something in return. Recognizing the pain of loneliness, we can appreciate the transformative power of genuine connection—feeling seen, heard, and valued.

In “The Book of Delights,” Ross Gay shares a daily collection of essays that celebrate the moments of joy he encounters. His reflections, spanning from small pleasures to profound experiences, remind us to find delight in the present. Gay’s writing encourages mindfulness, urging us to appreciate simple joys and seek happiness amidst life’s challenges. This book invites us to slow down and notice the beauty around us, fostering gratitude and wonder. So, keep your eyes open for those glimmers of delight, and whenever you get the chance, raise your finger in the air and exclaim, “Delight!”

In "The Power of Fun," Catherine Price emphasizes the importance of incorporating fun into our lives. She identifies three key components of fun: playfulness, connection, and flow. Playfulness involves engaging in joyful activities without the pressure of outcomes, while connection focuses on sharing meaningful experiences with others to build bonds. Flow is the state of being so immersed in an activity that time slips away. Fun energizes us, filling us with enthusiasm and joy, while also enhancing our health by reducing stress and boosting the immune system. By prioritizing fun, we can experience greater energy, health, and happiness in our lives.

Sometimes we get stuck in worry, fixating on making the right choice or doubting our capabilities, which can paralyze us from deciding. It’s important to feel these emotions, allowing them to inform but not control our responses. Our minds can make past events feel current and future possibilities overwhelming. When anxiety arises, try having a compassionate dialogue with yourself. Imagine your worried self as a child: “I see you’re worried, and that’s okay. Right now, it’s not happening. I’m here to keep you safe and I love you. What do you need to feel safe?”

Pause to listen, then envision how you want to feel and what resources you need to cultivate that feeling.

Being rejected is tough, especially for those with rejection sensitivity, as it activates the same brain areas as physical pain. Victor Frankl’s technique, Paradoxical Intention, encourages us to face what we fear—because avoiding it only amplifies the fear. The more we engage in challenging experiences, the more competent and confident we become. For instance, instead of fearing rejection, we might set it as a goal. Jia Jiang’s TED Talk, "100 Days of Rejection," offers inspiration on embracing this challenge. Actor William Dafoe also found relief by telling himself, “I’m going to act badly,” freeing himself from perfectionism and allowing more creativity.

For those experiencing social anxiety, here are two tricks to help ease the challenge of social events. While they won’t eliminate anxiety, they can foster grounding and connection. First, before entering, take a moment to visualize the emotions you want to embody—peace, confidence, joy. Imagine filling up with these feelings, and consider how they influence your posture, breath, and interactions. Remember, you inherently possess these emotions; there’s nothing to earn.

Second, as you approach someone, think phrases like, “There’s something about this person I’m curious about” or “I admire this person.” This shift in focus fosters presence and connection, making interactions feel more accessible.

Sometimes we get stuck in worry, fixating on making the right choice or doubting our capabilities, which can paralyze us from deciding. It’s important to feel these emotions, allowing them to inform but not control our responses. Our minds can make past events feel current and future possibilities overwhelming. When anxiety arises, try having a compassionate dialogue with yourself. Imagine your worried self as a child: “I see you’re worried, and that’s okay. Right now, it’s not happening. I’m here to keep you safe and I love you. What do you need to feel safe?”

Pause to listen, then envision how you want to feel and what resources you need to cultivate that feeling.